I know I said I shouldn't be dumping emotional crap here all the time.
But I really need it.

This, is my voice - a voice which can't be heard by anyone.
These are the forsaken words.

Working here, I am constantly under tremendous stress although I don't (yet) have a fixed job to do.
Not only from the stress from work, but from my working environment - the people I work with.

Being younger doesn't put me in an equal standing and how people don't see me as a whole.
I have things dumped I completely have zero knowledge on dumped onto me.
I have things that are obviously none of my concern dumped onto me.
I have things that are not even supposed to be done by me dumped onto me.
I have things that are of the smallest things also dumped onto me.

I'm not complaining being told to do any of the things.
But the thing is, nobody cares about how I feel.
Just because I put on that cheerful smile everyday, my feelings just become nothing.
What people don't know is that I have to take so much from every side that the emotion stress is overwhelming.

The moment I stepped in, I have stacks of computers just thrown to me, asking me to either have it thrown away or to be kept in the store. And you know the irony, I can't decide whether it's to be kept or to be thrown because it has to go through someone else first.
So why am I told to decide?
And then I keep getting rushed to figure out whether to keep or dispose because it is obviously space hogging and unkempt.
But now, is it really my fault?
I am giving the 'deciding power' but I can't decide at all.

Oh, the irony.


I knew from the start it wasn't going to be easy - the long hours, the weekends, these, I am prepared for and know what I have to sacrifice and give up.
What I didn't know and what I wasn't prepared for, was this emotional torture.