At times like this right, I'm just so fucking mad that I can't even control my anger.

Like I start tearing and I just want to fucking scream and rage.
I am beyond pissed man.

Wtf, srsly. Not cool man.
Everybody just come out to hun kou fan chi, you need to be such a douche meh?

I HOPE ONE DAY IT HAPPENS TO YOU.
WHERE PEOPLE WILL UNNECESSARILY DOUBT YOUR CAPABILITIES BECAUSE YOU ASKED 1 QUESTION. LOL FUCK OFF SERIOUSLY.

Travellogggggg

2016
Sydney: 26 - 28 March
Korea: 29 Apr - 9 May (GC left 4 May)
Bangkok: 24 - 27 July
KL: 10 - 12 September
Taiwan: 24 - 27 December

2017
Hong Kong: 27 Apr 2017 - 2 May
KL: 23 - 26 June

2018
Japan: 8 - 17 April When you keep getting shot down.
Your refusal to fall and die.

It's not like I like the way it hurts.
So, why? I am so tired, mentally.


I don't get rewarded for shit I've done well.
I don't get credit for things I've been of help of, for improvements that I've made.


Why?
Because I'm in this position where I can't quit.
I can only suck it up and take it all in.

No matter how fucking good I try to do it, it won't be enough.
It NEVER WILL BE.
People will only ask for more, and more, and more.
Until I get so drained out and people will just throw me aside and start condemning me for shit I don't do well.


You say I didn't prepare for the distribution.
I did. I fucking did.
The routing was done. I prepared the necessary documentations for it. I passed it to C.
I even clearly explained to him how the job has to be done. Every single thing. It was so straightforward.
And then, bam. Driver wasn't briefed. And now, my fault. Again.
Every single thing boils down to me.


HAHAHAHAHAHA. THIS SHIT IS BANANA. And there it is. All laid out.

To be together but with nothing left to say to each other.
Unwillingness to budge. My heart aches so badly.

Over you, over last night.
How can you take our concern and just think that we're against you?
We're not.

Nobody's fighting you. In fact, we're trying to fight WITH you. But you refuse to let us in.
Please, please just let us in.
Don't turn our words of concerns into hateful remarks.
We all care about you so so so much.

I admit, that in the past, I was harsh to you because you were always the young one, ignorant, arrogant even, and always so oblivious to your surroundings.
But not anymore. At least I dare say I no longer treat you that way because I know you've already grown up.

I tried so hard to make up for the past. Tried my best to make things right, take care of you so you won't feel like we're always against you. Cover up stuff for you because I know you didn't mean it. And I know how sometimes you don't have a lot of stuff or people standing by your side, so I tried. I really, really tried. To be there for you, to take care of you, be less bias, and to protect you. You're my little brother.

But last night. How you behaved, was so rude. All we were saying, was to try to help you. Because we fucked up, or at least, I did. I wish I had more advice and stuff. But that's just that.
I guess, I don't feel angry, it was more of upset. But I think I understand how you behaved because you're stressed up. But honestly, that's not the way to behave. Super quick post here.

So, we're 3 days away to being together for half a year - 7 months of knowing each other.
We've traveled so much together already though.

Together, we've been to, Sydney, Korea, Bangkok, KL.
We = amazing.

Yeah, we do travel a lot. But we also have heaps of moments together.
Maybe that's why when you're not around, I start to feel empty.

Sydney, I remembered something funny - you lying down on the patch of grass at Opera House, while I camwhored. Me slightly panicking because I couldn't find you.

Korea, all the food. All the fun. Some unhappiness but it was due to miscomm (big time!).

Bangkok, I confessed that I am actually really scared of people leaving me while I do something/go to the toilet.

KL - hilarious.


And traveling is no longer the same, since you.
No more rushy rushy wake up early in the morning.
And traveling for food - finally think it's worth it; it used to be a chore.


I miss you.
Can't wait to see you tonight.
"i want to see u tonight"